Posted on: Monday, April 09, 2007
Posted at: 12:27 AM There are days I will lose my sense of reasoning, and yes, want to give up. Give up trying, give up this whole shitty thing that's making me so upset.
I wish I could just lie down and stare into space, but I'll probably be pissed off because I feel that's a serious waste of time, or, just fall asleep and dream, which is also a waste of time. It's better than holding on the fucking telephone, and stare into space, when you know it could have been full of laughter, and what-have-yous.
I know this thought is simply so selfish, but what do you expect man? I don't like dull, boring stuffs. Conversations and people alike. See why people tend to lose interest? That's the reason. D-U-L-L.
I'm so sick of it, and yet I have to plough on, not because I want to be seen as acting strong and nonchalent about it, but because I believe.

I don't know how it will end up, but I shall just hope for the best.
I'd did this before, and I shall do it again, and this time, I'm going to try and keep my hopes up high, heck care the "high hopes, high disappointment" thing.

My heart and brain speaks of different things though.
Heart's telling me to go on, brain's contradicting it.

Follow your heart, people say.
But for how long can I follow it, if it keeps on crashing into walls? Hopes can be dashed, toleration and determination can reach their limits.

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This blog entry is so puzzling, to me.

Give me a chance to cry out everything, I guess that's the only way to make me feel better if all else fails.